


Politics & Pecan

by Optimistic_Lyricist



Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 10:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2544407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Optimistic_Lyricist/pseuds/Optimistic_Lyricist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day before his Hell in a Cell match with Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose figured he could use a break from training. Why not have a conversation with Bray Wyatt over some pecan pie?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Politics & Pecan

Branches crunched and leaves crackled as he stomped his way through the woods. This man was treading unfamiliar territory, but he knew he didn't have many other options.

"Damn bugs." The blue jean cladded Lunatic Fringe muttered to himself as he swatted flies and tree branches and bushes away from his face as he trampled through this swampy environment until he finally made his way in front of an isolated cabin that lied smack dab in the middle of the woods. He hesitantly stepped on the porch and then approached the door.

*knock knock*

No answer. He stood there for a few seconds before he decided to pound his fist along the wooded cabin door even harder.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* *BANG BANG BANG*

He continued his thunderous knocks before the door finally swung open. Now, in the doorway, the cabin home's owner was now staring his unlikely visitor down with a raised eyebrow and a curious grin.

"Dean Ambrose?" He addressed his visitor; pushing strands of hair away from his own eyes just to be sure his eyes weren't deceiving him again. That tends to happen every now and again.

"Bray Wyatt." Dean addressed the owner with his hands behind his back, looking him up and down before his eyes trailed the exterior of the cabin in the same manner. "Nice shack you got out here. I expected it to be a little more...I dunno. Spooky. Looks a lot more homely than I expected."

Bray's curious grin fell to a more guarded expression. The man standing in front of Bray wasn't a foe, but he wasn't exactly a friend either. He scanned his swampy, bleak surroundings to see if he should be expecting an ambush of some sort in his own home. "To what do I owe this visit today?"

"I have my reasons. Can I come in?" Dean requested before putting his hands in front of him to unveil a round container. "I brought pecan pie. Consider it a peace offering."

Bray couldn't help but chuckle ever so slightly at the sight of the pie. "You know my weakness. I'm a sucker for a good pecan pie. Come on in." He stepped aside to invite his visitor in and his visitor accepted; making his way inside.

Dean was surprised to see the interior of the cabin was a little 'snazzier' than he imagined. Or at least there were a lot more 'normal' things in Bray's home than he expected. He expected to find all kinds of crazy shit in Bray's home, like voodoo dolls and goats running the place. Instead, he saw things one would find in your average neighborhood home. A refrigerator. A mini freezer. Big wooden table that sat right beside the front door and in front of the nearest window. A rocking chair right in front of the fireplace; which was the only thing that came as no surprise to Dean. What was a surprise was the huge tv not too far away. "Huh. Never took you as much of a tv guy." Dean commented as he saw his reflection in the massive widescreen television screen.

"Gotta keep up with current events somehow." Bray replied as he closed and locked his front door.

Dean gave a brief nod in agreement. "Speaking of current events, you hear about that Ebola thing spreading around? Crazy, huh?"

Bray shot an extremely surprised expression Dean's way. "You actually watch the news? I always took you as a simpleton who immersed himself in enjoying nothing but simple Saturday morning cartoons." Bray chuckled again softly to himself as he sat at the wooden table. "My...my...my...you're actually smarter than you look, Dean. Please, have a seat." Bray enthusiastically addressed the empty seat in front of him across the table.

Hesitant to sit down in front of someone he didn't completely trust, Dean shrugged. "I mean, if you say so. I'm not all that smart."

"Oh, but you are, Ambrose. I mean that from the bottom of my heart." Bray said cheekily as his face lit up with a gleeful expression. "You see, for some people, it takes years before they're able to find where I live; yet alone have the cojones to walk onto my door step. I bet you did both in a matter of hours without batting an eyelash." This line especially made Dean try to fight the urge to snicker. It actually took him fifteen minutes for him to locate and arrive at Bray's home. Fourteen minutes walking to the cabin about thirty-five seconds to find out where he lived. Bray continued. "I'm curious. How'd you find me?"

Dean looked at Bray with a puzzled expression. The answer seemed obvious to him. He didn't think it took a rocket scientist to figure this one out. "Google Maps." He said bewildered.

Bray just burst out laughing. "Well, why aren't you a modern man!" He laughed some more. Once he caught his breathe, his expression fell into a more serious undertone in a matter of moments. "Now, as a guest in my home, I would appreciate it if you sat down. I don't like asking things twice, especially in my own home, but I'll cut you some slack given you had enough cojones to walk onto my doorstep. But lets not make it a third time asking, okay?" Bray's tone and presence suddenly became more commanding and threatening than Dean was used to seeing out of Bray. Dean just assumed that since Bray was at home, he felt a little full of himself now that he had the home field advantage. Dean had no problem tussling in another man's home, but that's not what Dean came here for. In fact, Dean felt he could use a day off from tussling so Dean slowly took that seat.

Now staring Bray at eye level, Dean set the pie in between them in the middle of the table. He pulled out a rusty fork and knife from the pockets of his leather jacket. "Look, man, you got any plates in here cause I didn't bring-"

Before Dean could even finish, his eyes widened at the surprising sight of Bray grabbing a handful out of the pie and practically devouring it. Dean's first thought was to call The Eater of Worlds a pig, but then Dean started flashing back to that one movie Deliverance; the movie about hillbillies that did some rather vile things while squeeling like pigs. Considering that Dean was in what he'd consider to be hillbilly territory, he thought it wise to keep his mouth shut on anything concerning pigs.

"Uh...just so we're clear...I don't need to expect those two goons of yours to jump out of the shadows or anything, right?" Dean asked with trepidation while glancing behind both his shoulders.

Bray gulped a big chunk of pie before answering. "Erick Rowan and Luke Harper no longer live here. They are free to gallivant wherever they choose from now on because they have earned my freedom upon earning my respect." He licked his fingers and wiped some pie residue off of the corners of his lips before continuing. "Now, back to you. You still haven't told me why you have come to my home; bearing gifts no less." He said as he grabbed little chunks of pie crumbs from his beard and ate them. "Why? Better yet, why now? A smart man would be preparing for his Hell in a Cell match with a Mr. Seth Rollins coming tomorrow night. A smart man like yourself knows that."

Dean sighed as he took his rusty fork and poked into the pie. "Alright, you want the truth?" He asked as he bit into the bits of pie from his fork. "Alright, I'm bored, okay?" He spoke with a mouth full of pie. "I don't have any friends to just hang out with. Didn't think I needed them, but I forgot how boring days can be without them. I only had two friends and one of them hit me with a chair while the other's rehabbing his hernia. On top of that, Vince is making Roman travel from city to city to do interviews and press junkets and crap like that so people don't forget the next 'face of the company'." Dean used air quotes before angrily and nearly violently stabbing into the pie with his fork again and ferociously eating the remains from his fork. "It's like Roman doesn't even have time to hang out with me anymore. I was never keen on making friends with anyone else in the locker room. I don't like them. They don't like me. A lot of them won't forget the fact I put them through a bunch of tables when we were all in The Shield. Like, Jesus, guys, let it go! But I didn't want to spend today...the day before I go to Hell...bored out of my skull. You're one of the more tolerable guys in the locker room and according to Google Maps, you were the closest. There! I said it! Don't make me feel like a sap for saying it!" Dean demanded. He started to take another bite out of the pecan pie, but paused when he noticed Bray just laughing hysterically. "Now what's so funny?! Huh?!" An agitated Ambrose roared.

"That word you constantly feel the need to use...'bored'. We both know that's not true. At least not the whole truth." Bray gave Dean a steel gaze with a hardy grin. "Now, if you replaced that word with lonely, then you'd be telling the truth."

"I don't get lonely, alright?" Dean jumped to his defenses. "I was raised by a pack of wolves! I've been lonely my whole life and it doesn't bother me one bit! I never needed-"

"Please, Dean, save the tough guy act for the cameras." Bray chuckled again as he gripped some more pie in between his fingertips. "This is just you and me talking, man. In fact, I always suspected you and I were a lot alike and this just proves it." He then licked the pie from his fingertips.

"I am nothing like you." Once again, Dean managed to jump to his defenses. This time, through gritted teeth. Dean was far from a 'talk about my feelings' kind of guy and this conversation was starting to make his blood boil the more Bray psychoanalyzed him.

"Easy, tiger. Settle down." Bray warned, still with a jolly grin on his face. "No need to feel insulted. I'm a decent fellow most of the time. You should be flattered. But just sitting here right now across from you...face to face...eye to eye...it's like looking in a mirror."

Dean started to talk back, but suddenly paused before his words left his mouth. He was curious to see where Bray would go with this analogy because the more he stared at Bray, the more Dean felt inclined to agree. It really was like looking into a mirror. Dean started to notice that Bray's cold eyes told stories that Dean could relate to on a personal level. Eyes that looked far too familiar to his own. It was freaky. "How so?" Dean humored Bray.

"For starters, your situation with your 'brothers' is quite similar to how I saw the end of my relationship with my disciples, young Luke and young Erick." Bray continued before Dean interrupted.

"I'm gonna stop you right there. What I had with my guys and what you had with your guys are two completely different situations altogether." Dean shook his head, nearly insulted by Bray's words. Now he was convinced Bray was deliberately trying to trivialize the bond that he had with Seth and the bond he feels that he's losing with Roman. "Me and my guys drifted apart. You pushed your guys away like some absentee father! You practically fed them to the wolves yourself for no reason, you son of a-"

"Woah! Language, Mr. Ambrose! Language!" Bray held his hands up defensively with a brief laugh. "Now, I can forgive raising your voice in my house because our emotions can get the better of us and we tend to act without thinking, but there's just no need for such foul language. Now, here me out..." Before he spoke, Bray felt the need to wipe the pie crumbs from his hand and then fold his arms across the table to stare Ambrose dead in his eyes. "...I didn't feed Erick or Luke to anybody. In fact, if I did, they'd be able to fend for themselves. You know why? Because they're men now. That's why I set them free. When I took them under my wing, they were just boys that were too stupid to feed themselves. Now, they've developed into men that don't need their papa bear to protect them anymore. If I kept them as a papa bear and continued to treat them like children, I'd be doing them a disservice. Not only to them, but to their potential. I'd be keeping two caterpillars cooked up in their cocoons. Now, I set them free in a world where they can be butterflies. Where the possibilities and opportunities for them are endless. I assure you that five years from now...better yet, two years from now...you'd see that I was right. Seems like it's time for you to let your boys be the men that they're capable of being. You were no more than a boy yourself when you aligned yourself with Mr. Rollins and Mr. Reigns. All three of you were boys. Now, in a little less than two years, you've all become strapping young men who are blossoming beautifully already since you disbanded. Seth acquired the Money in the Bank briefcase, guaranteeing him a shot at the luxurious brass ring that comes with being a big man. And Roman...well Roman is on his way to becoming _the_ big man. Big man on campus. Big man of the WWE Universe. Big top face of the company. And you-"

"Let me guess...I'm no better than you? Huh?" Dean jumped in quick. "Empty handed, not racking up wins...not sprouting big enough wings to become some beautiful butterfly?"

"Actually, I was going to say you got the best bargain." Bray reassured. "Because while everyone is watching the guys people expect to be stars...leaving you as an afterthought...you're just waiting in the shadows to become the biggest star of them all. Then, when everyone least expects it, you'll leap from the shadows like a thief in the night and claim the highest mantle that this industry has to offer. See guys like you and me, we don't have to make a scene. Leave that to the square jawed poster boys of this generation. What no one realizes is that it's the quiet ones you have to worry about. And you are contain the quietest of storms. The point I'm trying to get into your skull with all of this is that maybe your boys will come back around and maybe they won't. But for now, you've got to let them become men and you've got to learn to develop yourself into a man yourself. Understand?"

Dean slumped back into his chair and took all of Bray's words into further consideration in his head. Not only were Bray's words reassuring, but they were comforting. Two things he never thought he'd associate with a guy like Bray Wyatt. Then again, there was probably a good reason why Bray has a reputation of being The Man of 1,000 Truths. Maybe he wasn't as crazy as people gave him crazy for being. Or maybe crazy people just make a lot of sense.

"You got anything to drink around here? This pie's making my throat dry." Dean asked. As always, Dean would rather change the subject than thank someone or continue to talk about his emotions and feelings.

Bray gave a brief chuckle because he still knew exactly how Dean was feeling. Afterall, they were pretty much one and the same. "In the fridge." As soon as Bray said that, Dean leaped out of his chair and towards the fridge. "But don't touch my whiskey. I'm saving that for a special occasion." Bray warned at the last minute.

"Yeah, yeah...nobody's taking your stupid whiskey bottle." Dean waved off the thought before momentarily returned to the table with a canister of water. "Now, mind if we change the subject? Lets go back to the Ebola thing. I wanna talk about that. What's your take on it?"

Bray shrugged with a little nod. It was clear that Dean didn't want to keep talking about his feelings and Bray respected that. Besides, Bray was curious to see how Dean would adapt to more thought provoking conversations concerning the world we live in. "It's a fullblown plague is what it is." Bray remarked. "A plague of biblical proportions."

"How so?" Dean asked as he took another bite of pie from his fork.

"Are you familiar with The Bible, Dean? Book of Revelations?" Bray inquired.

Dean paused to think for a second as a few moments from his childhood flashed back into his head. "Well, when I was eight years old, my mom meant to drop me off at a Band Camp, but accidently dropped me off at a Bible Camp. They basically told me that Jesus was a cool guy and Dr. Seuss was the devil."

"I'll take that as a no." Bray smirked with a brief chuckle. "So I won't bore you with details you won't understand. Basically, The Bible foreshadows that something like this will happen. now it's happening. The end is nigh, my friend."

"You mean like that 2012 thing? Or Y2K?" Dean mentioned. "'Cause we're all still standing after that."

Bray was quick to shake his head in disagreement. "Nah, see, I'm not talking not talking about man-made predictions like we've predicted in the past. I'm talking about a biblical prediction. And unlike those man-made predictions, this won't be a case of the universe ending altogether or the world ceasing to exist. Mankind will cease to exist. Just as the dinosaurs before us were wiped out to extinction, the same will happen to us. Once we're all gone, our species will just be replaced with the next big thing. We're not important enough to withstand the test of time. We're just an idea created by God that backfired. An idea that turned into a mistake that will soon be corrected, thanks to Ebola."

"I thought you didn't believe in God?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"I believe in God. I just don't believe in what God has to say." Bray elaborated. "I'd much rather follow the buzzards."

Dean nodded in understanding as he took another bite out of the pie; a pie that was slowly dwindling to its last few pieces. "You seem so calm about humankind ending for a guy who is actually apart of humankind. You're not worried?"

"Are you?" Bray asked with a smirk.

"Hell no." Dean fired back. "I'm going to Hell in a Cell tomorrow, remember? I have no problem going out in a blaze of going. It's just...the idea of going out because the wrong guy sneezed on me or bled out on me just sounds anti-climatic, you know? I'd rather go out swinging."

"Don't think of it like that." Bray suggested. "Think of it as more of it being...the next step to ascending into a higher being whilst leaving room for a new generation of beings to walk the roads you've walked on. Hear of your legacy and see you as an ancient, unique creature. Doesn't that sound beautiful?"

"Sounds weird." Dean stated bluntly. "Besides, maybe this Ebola thing will get taken care of before it really escalates. Read somewhere that Obama's working on different procedures with doctors to-"

Dean was interrupted by Bray's hardy laughter. "Please. Our president is nothing more than a trashman in our system. He has no real power. He tries to clean up the mess we're in, but he still has to answer to Republicans. Like any other Democrat. He seems like a decent fellow, but he only holds so much power that he's allowed to have. The man can find a cure to the Ebola virus himself today, but the Republicans he has to answer to have the power to release this cure to the public or keep their mouths shut. Judging by his past efforts to instill 'change', the latter is more likely to happen in such a case."

"But what if-" Before Dean could make his point, Dean went to take another bite from the pie, but then noticed the pie canister was empty. "Damn. Looks like that's the end of the pie."

Bray stretched his neck to get a better look at the empty container. He was so enamored in his conversation with Dean that he hadn't noticed himself. "That's a shame. Good pie too. Just like mama used to make."

"Well, I'm not your mama, just so you know." Dean told Bray.

"You made this yourself?" Bray questioned with instant surprise in his expression.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. I got some lessons from this guy."

"Thought you didn't have any friends." Bray brought up what Dean said earlier.

"He's not a friend." Dean corrected. "We just do favors for each other when we need each other. If I need something, he can take care of it for a certain price in return. Just like if I need something, like a pie, he'll take care of it for-" All of a sudden, Dean's eyes lit up at a sudden realization. "Crap! I gotta go!"

"Why? You left the oven on?" Bray asked as he got up from his own seat.

"No, I forgot to do the favor for this guy by today or my ass is grass." Dean made his way towards the door but stopped in front of Bray.

"What kind of favor?" Bray asked.

"Just a...um...just a thing I gotta do." Dean stumbled over his words.

"Let me guess...an illegal 'thing'?" Bray asked with a cheeky smirk.

Dean scoffed for a bit. "You know me too well." He told Bray with a smirk of his own. But today was kinda nice. We should do this more often. Hey who knows? Maybe after I take care of Seth tomorrow night, we can start some new alliance on Raw or something. Just you and me against the world."

Bray couldn't help but chuckle at Dean's remark. "He's got the whole world in his hands...he's got the-" Bray started to sing before Dean cut him off.

"No, Bray, don't start that shit." Dean groaned with an eye roll. "I hate when you do that."

Bray chuckled some more. "I do agree with you, though, Dean. I've laughed today more than I have with anyone in years. We had a truly engaging conversation. Something tells me that this may be the start of a beautiful friendship."

Dean just shrugged with a slight grimace on his face. "It's the start of something alright. Anyway, take care." He patted Bray on his back and then quickly made his way out through the front door.

"Take care, Mr. Ambrose! I hope to see more of you from now on!" Bray added in the door way. Once he closed his door, he made his way towards his refrigerator. Suddenly, he gasped when he noticed almost immediately that something was missing.

He quickly ran to the window closest to the front door and looked out to see Dean pull a bottle of whiskey from the inside of his leather jacket and proceeded to swig it down on his way out the woods. Needless to say, Bray was infuriated.

"Bastard stole my whiskey." He hissed to himself menacingly as he watched Dean drink what belonged to him as Dean walked away from his cabin. "Dean Ambrose...you die tomorrow. If it doesn't look like Rollins can get the job done...I'm coming for you myself."

_And then the next night, Bray Wyatt attacked Dean Ambrose during his match with Seth Rollins._

_And now you know why._

_Now you know that whiskey can make the 'sanest' of men go a little mad sometimes._


End file.
